That crunching, crashing sound you hear is another Transformers movie rolling out into theaters. The series' third installment, Dark of the Moon, features Autobots and Decepticons yet again pummeling each other into scrap metal with the fate of the Earth at stake.

While it remains to be seen - at least by this author - if the new film is any worse than the abhorrent Revenge of the Fallen from 2009 (which featured an enemy with a crotch made of wrecking balls, hereafter referred to as "Decepticles"), it did provoke some thoughts on the lengthy history of the first Transformers film, released some 25 years ago, and the lengthy list of albums that have been released to commemorate it.

At the end of this post, one shall stand and one shall fall - so pull up a chair, maximize your Energon cubes and read about some of the most endearingly silly music to come from a soundtrack of the '80s!

Like many quirky icons of pop culture, the Transformers mythology begins in Japan, with a company called Takara Toys. They had released two separate, popular lines of action toys in the East called Micro Change and Diaclone, which featured humanoid robots that could turn into seemingly ordinary vehicles and household objects. Realizing the immense crossover potential in America, Hasbro licensed several of the characters and hired a team of writers, including former Marvel editor-in-chief Jim Shooter and comic writers Dennis O'Neil and Bob Budiansky, to flesh out a story for the toys.

In turn, they created the fictional, futuristic world of Cybertron, where these car/robot hybrids hailed from. Unfortunately, a civil war between the peaceful Autobots (led by the heroic Optimus Prime) and the villainous Decepticons (controlled by the power-hungry Megatron) spilled beyond Cybertron and across the galaxy. Along with some human allies and other types of robots, the Transformers' war was waged for the enjoyment of young boys everywhere.

In a particular stroke of genius back on Earth, a cartoon was simultaneously created for the Transformers as the toys arrived on shelves, guaranteeing a media blitz. The toys were an instant hit upon release in 1984, and the show was one of the most-enjoyed cartoons among the Saturday-morning market. Spurred by the success of the small-screen show, in 1986 a feature-length film was released. But The Transformers: The Movie was a different animal than your usual cartoon cash-in. The team behind the toys were anxious to inject some new blood, and they introduced several new characters into the mix (most notably the massive new villain, Unicron, the last voice-over work of Orson Welles). They were introduced, however, at the expense of several major characters, who perished in the feature film and did not come back for the next season of the show. (The most traumatizing loss for many kids was that of Optimus Prime, whose stunning death early in the film was a flashpoint for Transformers fans everywhere.)

The original Transformers theme is something of a kids' classic, an ingenious summary of the entire toy line ("Transformers/Robots in disguise!/Transformers/More than meets the eye!"). A more modern, expansive sound was sought for the film, and the producers found their perfect match in Vince DiCola, a session musician and film composer who had rose to prominence writing songs for Sylvester Stallone's Staying Alive (1983) (including the Frank Stallone cult classic "Far from Over") and scoring Stallone's Rocky IV in 1985 (the only one of six Rocky films not to feature a score by Bill Conti). Fans loved DiCola's adventurous, modern score - but it was the contributions of two wildly different artists that really put the soundtrack on the map.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZKpByV5764]

First was Stan Bush, another writer and session musician who contributed his song "The Touch" to the soundtrack. The song has gone on to represent almost everything one thinks of when thinking about '80s film soundtracks: kind of cheesy and bombastic, but oddly uplifting. If the Transformers franchise had another theme, this might be it (particularly as evidenced by Bush's propensity for re-recording the song every time a new Transformers film finds its way into theaters).

The other surprise on the soundtrack was the theme for a group of robots known as The Wreckers. The track was "Dare to Be Stupid," an obviously tongue-in-cheek tune written and performed by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Wait, what? While the master parodist had become a household name thanks to his jokey satires "Eat It" and "Like a Surgeon," the Devo pastiche was an odd choice to feature in the film. Or was it? "People ask me, 'How did you get that song in the movie?' or, 'Did you write that song for the movie?' and I tell them the story of how my record label basically said, 'We want to use "Dare to Be Stupid" in the Transformers movie,'" Yankovic laughingly recalled in a recent interview, "and I basically said, 'Uh. Okay.'” The song stuck, however, and Al's place in the Transformers universe was further solidified when the 2007 cartoon Transformers Animated cast him as the voice for Wreck-Gar, the original leader of The Wreckers (voiced in the film by Eric Idle).

The original soundtrack was your typical songs-and-score affair, with a single released released, at the very least, in the U.K. (Epic A-7318) with "The Touch" and "Dare to Be Stupid." A picture disc version was released, too, cut in the shape of Optimus Prime!

Various Artists, The Transformers: The Movie - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Scotti Bros. SZ-40430, 1986 - released on CD as Scotti Bros. 72392 75242-2, approx. 1992)

1. The Touch - Stan Bush
2. Instruments of Destruction - N.R.G.
3. The Death of Optimus Prime - Vince DiCola
4. Dare - Stan Bush
5. Nothin’s Gonna Stand in Our Way - Spectre General
6. The Transformers (Theme) - Lion
7. Escape - Vince DiCola
8. Hunger - Spectre General
9. Autobot/Decepticon Battle - Vince DiCola
10. Dare to Be Stupid - "Weird Al" Yankovic

As the Transformers blossomed into legends of toy culture (solidified by the '90s revival show Beast Wars), fans would clamor for an expanded release of DiCola's score. That demand was finally fulfilled with the release of 'Til All Are One, a double-disc set released exclusively through BotCon, the official Transformers fan convention, in 1997.

Stan Bush and Vince DiCola, 'Til All Are One (3H Enterprises HHH-0797, 1997)

Disc 1: Stan Bush, Call to Action (originally released as LA Records XRCN-2106 (JP), 1997)

1. The Touch (1997 Remix)
2. Never Surrender (from Kickboxer)
3. Hold Your Head Up High
4. Straight to the Top
5. Dare (1997 Remix)
6. Critical Mass (feat. Vince DiCola)
7. Ground Zero (BotCon Theme)
8. Capture the Dream (from the 1996 Summer Olympics)
9. Total Surrender
10. Highest Calling

Disc 2: The Transformers: The Movie Musical Score (performed by Vince DiCola)

1. Unicron's Theme
2. TF:TM Main Title (Alternate) (feat. Stan Bush)
3. 2005
4. More Luck Than You Imagine
5. Attack on the Shuttle (not used in movie)
6. Gone Fishin'
7. City Under Siege
8. Showdown
9. Witness to a Funeral
10. Contest for Leadership
11. Transformation
12. Coronation
13. Destruction of the Outer Moon
14. Pursuit
15. Arrival on Junk
16. Unwelcome Visitors
17. The Matrix Survives
18. An Unexpected Friend
19. Destruction of the Inner Moon
20. Ambush
21. Another Leader Dies
22. Rescue
23. All Hope is Lost
24. Unusual Allies
25. The Enemy Revealed
26. Seizure
27. United Against the Enemy
28. In the Belly of the Monster
29. Their Darkest Hour
30. Legacy (Audition Piece)

The BotCon exclusives did not end there: in 2001, 3H released Lighting Their Darkest Hour, Vince DiCola's complete score to the convention, featuring both the tracks from 'Til All Are One and the three score tracks from the original LP. That same year, 3H released The Protoform Sessions, which collected DiCola's soundtrack demos and commentary on his experiences working on the film.

Vince DiCola, Lighting Their Darkest Hour (3H Enterprises, exact cat. # unknown, 2001)

1. Unicron's Theme
2. TF:TM Main Title (Alternate) (feat. Stan Bush)
3. 2005
4. More Luck Than You Imagine
5. Attack on the Shuttle
6. Gone Fishin'
7. Autobot/Decepticon Battle
8. City Under Siege
9. Showdown
10. Death of Optimus Prime
11. Witness to a Funeral
12. Contest for Leadership
13. Transformation
14. Coronation
15. Destruction of Moon Base One
16. Destruction of Moon Base Two (I)
17. Destruction of Moon Base Two (II)
18. Escape
19. Pursuit
20. Arrival on Junk
21. Unwelcome Visitors
22. An Unexpected Friend
23. The Matrix Survives
24. Ambush
25. Another Leader Dies
26. Judgement/Rescue
27. All Hope is Lost
28. Unusual Allies
29. The Enemy Revealed
30. Confrontation
31. United Against the Enemy
32. In The Belly of the Monster
33. Their Darkest Hour

Tracks 7, 10 and 18 from original soundtrack LP.

Vince DiCola, The Protoform Sessions (3H Enterprise HHH-0701, 2001)

1. Greetings from Vince
2. Unicron's Theme (Demo)
3. Transition #1
4. TF:TM Title Theme (Ed Fruge Version)
5. Transition #2
6. TF:TM Title Theme (Gary Falcone Version)
7. Transition #3
8. Attack on the Shuttle (Demo)
9. Transition #4
10. Matrix Theme
11. Transition #5
12. Dare (Gary Falcone Demo)
13. Transition #6
14. Escape (Demo)
15. Transition #7
16. No Mercy (unused TF:TM song piece)
17. Transition #8
18. Evil Decepticon Theme (unused TF:TM song piece)
19. Transition #9
20. Legacy (demo)
21. Transition #10
22. Gone Fishin' Suite
23. Transition #11
24. Attack on the Shuttle (BotCon 1997 Concert Rehearsal Version)
25. Transition #12
26. Death of Optimus Prime Suite (BotCon 1997 Concert Rehearsal Version)
27. Transition #13
28. Dare Suite (BotCon 1997 Concert Rehearsal Version)

But that wasn't the last CD release from this film! In 2007, the original LP was reissued on CD as a 20th anniversary edition (a year too late, although the reissue dovetailed with the release of the first live-action film). It featured several of the score tracks as bonus cuts, allowing those tracks to be heard beyond the BotCon discs.

Various Artists, The Transformers: The Movie - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Volcano/Legacy 88697 09656-2, 2007)

Tracks 1-10 identical to original CD. Bonus tracks:

1. Unicron Medley - Vince DiCola
2. Moon Base 2/Shuttle Launch - Vince DiCola
3. Megatron Must Be Stopped - Vince DiCola
4. Main Title (Alternate) - Vince DiCola feat. Stan Bush